There's this guy at work whose emails are peppered with all this IM/Texting jargon that I have no clue about. It's so annoying because I have to either ask someone or look up on google what the heck something like "FWIW" means (for what it's worth). I mean, it may be easier for the writer, but if you take it too far, the reader has to take time to decipher what the heck they're saying... somewhat passive aggressive, I think.
So here's my ROT (rule of thumb). If 95% of the people out there would know what it would mean, and it has become a part of the common lexicon, by all means use it (e.g. ASAP, FYI, ETC...), but if it's something that looks lazy (e.g. u, ppl...) or is just bad grammar (e.g. ur, u2) or just too obscure (e.g. AAMOF, AFAIK, AMFIGTD...), then just leave it out. (BTW, if you're looking for AMFIGTD anywhere you won't find it... I made it up.)
Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing? Maybe I'm just being a cranky old man who needs to get with the times? You just wait... someday our emails are going to look like this:
IDK, IMHO I'm all for KISS, but WTF? BION, there R PPL who don't know (W/O looking up an acronym FAQ) what these letters are AKA. AAMOF, sometimes it's so FUBAR that U have to take a SWAG JIC U or your SO or BFF R not up on MB/IM lingo. FYI, some PPL like to talk in RL FTF where WYSIWYG. AFAIK, the reason Y UR writing is B/C U want to communicate ASAP and not 2 B a PITA... CMIIW. BTAIM, B4 you just tell me to MYOB, look at it W/ the other's POV and correct your MSG SNAFU, K? It's what NKOTB would do.
HTH, TY & TTYL
BTW... FWIW, I'm mostly J/K. lawl.
You just watch...
How many of you were able to decipher the above without having to look any of the "words" up?
FYI, I'm going to put the translation in the comments section later
I remember in the old version of the Wheel of Fortune gameshow, they would make you actually shop for the prizes with the money you won on the show... I wonder if they made them do that on purpose so that the companies that provided the prizes would get a "free" commercial in the middle of the show. I always thought the prizes were lame and just wanted the cash. I guess I wasn't the only one because now you do just get the cash. If I ever won on that show back then, I would like to have seen their reaction if when they displayed all those prizes I just said, "Pat, I'll just take it all in a gift certificate because these prizes kinda blow..."
I wonder if all those people they show on "Jaywalking" are actually that stupid or if they're only pretending just to get on TV. If that's the case, they're actually quite sharp. If I ever had the chance, I would totally do that...
Jay: What is the Magna Carta? Me: Uh... some sort of Mexican credit card?
Jay: What is the more common name of the disorder "Acrophobia"? Me: Oh, that's easy... the fear of Acrobats!
Jay: Who is this a photo of? (shows a photo of V.P. Joe Biden) Me: I don't know... he kind of looks like Bob Barker...
Are the people at the DMV rude because people expect them to be and they're just living up to their reputation, or is there actually a level of disgruntledness that Human Resources department at the DMV is actually looking for to get such qualified applicants? I wonder...
Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, thinking about a world without war and strife? Does it stir up images of sit-ins and demonstrations and the power of the people?
Well, it shouldn't... unless you just really, really love luxury German automakers, because the above symbol more closely resembles the logo for Mercedes-Benz than anything else.
I can't tell you how many times I see young people using the above symbol thinking it's the peace symbol. It's really sad. In fact, just recently I saw a local high school collecting money for some charity or something, and the above symbol was plastered all over the signs they were waving around. Now, I know that auto manufacturers are having a tough year so far, but I doubt that they're taking to high school fund raisers to raise capital.
Maybe this annoys me so much because in the community I live in, they probably see the above symbol a thousand more times than the real symbol, so when they plaster it on something, thinking they're being hip, they're just showing their ignorance.
This, my probably-born-in-the-80's-or-later friends, is the actual peace symbol:
Note the "extra" vertical line that is not in the Mercedes-Benz symbol... this may not seem like much, but like most things in life, it's the little things that make the real difference.
So let's do some drills, shall we?
Symbol for free love, nuclear disarmament, and world peace...
Symbol for material excesses, carbon emitting engines, and at one point manufactured vehicles for the Nazi war machine in WWII
Seen on posters and protest signs in the 60's and 70's as a rally cry to young people to see beyond themselves to a troubled world
Seen in high school parking lots in the 80's and 90's as a sign that those young people from the 60's and 70's abandoned their beliefs and then spoiled their kids rotten.
By the way... the above are also examples of irony... another thing that many people today have no idea what they're talking about when they try to use it.
I've been hearing for years how DVR (Digital Video Recording) is the best thing since sliced bread, and I'm one of the many who feel this way. I don't think I could ever go back to just watching live TV. In fact, I think I could go back to slicing my own bread before I'd give up DVR. So in a way, it's BETTER than sliced bread. I mean, slicing your own bread for a sandwich would take about 20 seconds for even the most clumsy of us, I'd imagine. But for an hour television show, I can save up to 20 minutes by skipping the commercials. Even if there is a TV show on that I want to watch, sometimes I just start recording the show and do something else for 20 minutes and then start watching the show, skipping all the commercials. It's great.
But there are definitely unexpected consequences from depending on your DVR like this. I've started noticing little things that are a direct result of using the DVR too much in other areas of my life and in my personality that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Here are just a few:
I expect to be able to rewind EVERYTHING, so I don't pay attention to anything. I mentioned this before, but one night I was dreaming, and in the middle of the dream, there was a point where I completely missed what had happened. So in my dream, I somehow pressed "rewind" and watched the scene in my dream over again. This is also further evidence that I am, in fact, a robot. I'm really taking it for granted that you can't just rewind everything that you miss. Just this past weekend when I was at the movie theater, I was distracted for a second and missed about three seconds of dialogue. No problem, I thought, I'll just find that remote and... oh wait. And I can't tell you how many times I've reached for the "rewind" button on my car radio because I wasn't paying attention to the traffic report. I think there will be a new form of A.D.D. called A.D.D.V.R.D.
A 15 second commercial is too long. I love the fact that I can fast forward through all the commercials. Even when I'm watching live TV, I futilely try to fast forward through them out of habit (see above). And it has made my tolerance for them even smaller. Even a fifteen second commercial seems like an eternity. It's like... "okay already, I get it... Barilla makes good pasta... yes, it's the pasta of Italy... c'mon!" In fact, I think I see the product in a negative light when I have to sit through their commercials, so in essence, these commercials are having the opposite of their intended effect.
Also, I have no idea of any new products since 2007. Like apparently there's this yogurt out there that makes you poop... who made that? And why?
I have a feeling that they're going to start making commercials that are just 2 minutes of some dude miming in slow motion to cater to guys like me so that at 16x speed I get a 7.5 second commercial in real time that I have to watch very closely (lest I miss the continuation of the show I'm watching after the commercials end).
Watching live football is extremely boring. I can watch a 3 hour football game in 40 minutes, including rewinding and watching key plays in super slow motion. Before DVR I never knew how much time was spent putting the ball on the line of scrimmage... huddling... coming back to the line of scrimmage... changing the play at the line of scrimmage... ordering an espresso at the line of scrimmage... Now I just wait until the guy gets tackled, push FF twice on the DVR, count 4 "Mississippi's" and press play, and voila... next play. But on the rare occasion I watch a live game, I am bored to tears... and I realize that in any 60 minute game, there's actually only about 7 minutes of actual running around.
Which makes me wonder if I'd enjoy watching golf more if I just fast forwarded until I saw the ball in the air or rolling to the hole after a putt. I mean, the rest of it is pretty boring... practice swings... judging the lay of the green... I could probably watch a whole afternoon of golf in about 9 minutes by cutting all that out.
I save shows I have no intention of ever watching It's almost too easy to fill up your recording space with just nonsense TV. For those who don't know... you only have a limited amount of recording space on your DVR. If you use it up, it stops recording or will write over what you've already recorded. But shows that never interested me before become "must see" programs because I don't have to be there to watch it live. And there is this evil question that the DVR asks when you do record a show that catches your interest... "Record this show on any day in any time slot?"
Heck YEAH! Who wouldn't want to see every episode "The Deadliest Catch" that is broadcast anywhere on cable in any given week? Two things I learned: One, they show that show a lot... and two, you can indeed get seasick from just watching a show about crab fishing for 6 hours straight.
And whoever set the standard of how much space to give you in your DVR must know that it is always going to be about an hour too little. I have pained over which shows to erase... the one with the 5 minute clip of how to grout tile or the travel show that shows a 40 second clip of a place I want to visit... because I can't erase that movie that I completely forgot I wanted to see in the theaters 8 years ago but now that I can see it for free on cable I have to watch.
So for those out there who are considering getting some sort of DVR, let this be a warning. Yes, the advantages of such a device are many, but there is a ying to this yang... a fly in the ointment... a price to pay the piper... a cliché in this sentence... Call your local subscription provider with care and eyes open.
The above video is from a congressional hearing in the Committee on Environment and Public Works, of which Barbara Boxer... excuse me... SENATOR Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) is the Chairman... excuse me... Chairwoman... excuse me.. ChairSENATOR. While addressing madam Chairwoman, Brigadier General (merely one star) Michael Walsh had the audacity to call her "ma'am". To which her majesty interrupted rather abruptly and condescendingly, "...do me a favor, could you say "Senator" instead of ma'am... it's just a thing... I worked SO hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it... yes, thank you."
I work with a lot of people who are former military, and according to them in military protocol it is perfectly acceptable to address a female superior as ma'am. It is probably something he has been saying for decades in complete respect and deference to his superiors. So I'm certain he didn't intend any disrespect or gender bias when he said "ma'am". But like a true politician, it seems Ms. Boxer had to read too much into things and put the General in his place.
What bothers me is that she is a public servant, appointed by the electorate to SERVE the American people. It is a privilege and responsibility bestowed upon her by us. Her "hard work" is nothing without the public trust. I'm certain she worked hard to get where she is, but I'm equally certain that the General worked very hard to get where he is as well. Heck, he has an engineering degree and a masters... with that alone, he gets my respect. I can't believe she could look at him in his uniform laden with all those medals and have the nerve to value her "hard work" more than his.
Reading his resume you don't get a sense that he has had all that glamorous of a career, but I think that's what makes his position all the more noble... certainly not deserving of the public berating he got from the "honorable" Senator.
I mean, has "ma'am" really become a dirty word? Is it that something that was a sign of respect is now a sexist shackle designed to keep women in "their place"?
What this really points to is one truth that is demonstrated over and over again these days... that posturing and titles and high ideals have more perceived value than things with true substance. People would rather have the veneer of political correctness and meaningless slogans than something that is hard... and dirty... and real.
Ms. Boxer, if you want my respect, pay some to others who deserve it too... remember, those who gave you that title can very easily remove it from you.
